Bluesman: Top Ten Ways Of Knowing You've Joined The wrong Church

Friday, September 26, 2008

Top Ten Ways Of Knowing You've Joined The wrong Church

10. The Christian education director’s nickname is “Scar”

9. The Pastor refers to God only as “Jehovah” and constantly exhorts the congregation to “witness”.

8. New members are required to submit W-2's for the last 10 years.

7. Pastor regularly attends meeting at Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

6. The media refers to the church facilities as a “compound”.

5. You discover the church refers to the 10 commandments as the 10 suggestions.

4. The Women’s Quartet are all married to the pastor.

3. The chancel cross has been replaced with a bronze pyramid.

2. Pastor preaches an eloquent sermon on ancient heresies and the elders want to make them part of the doctrinal statement.

1. The New Member’s kit includes a Bible, church by-laws, and an Uzi.

1 comment:

UnknownSeptember 27, 2008 at 8:24 AM
Ah, the Mark Freer Top Ten List. I love those.
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Brief Music History

I grew up in Northwest Detroit, Michigan, my neighborhood had a whole lot of musicians. My parents bought me an inexpensive electric guitar and I took lessons for about six months. After that it was listen to records and learn by ear.
The first band I played in was called The Garfield Blues Band. I was sitting in the cafeteria at Oakland Community College playing the guitar instead of attending classes, and I was approached by Garfield Angove (lead singer) who me asked if I could play bass, I said yes and he gave me the address where they were auditioning band members. I borrowed a bass and an amplifier and my musical career was launched. From there I joined the James Peterson Blues Band, in Buffalo, New York, featuring "Little Lucky". Lucky was a four year old prodigy who played the Hammond B-3 organ, and had perfect pitch. We opened for James Brown at War Memorial Stadium in Buffalo, I spent a week in NYC Times Square with Willie Dixon doing some recording with Lucky at Columbia studios, the plan was for Lucky to play on The Ed Sullivan show. Later on I joined The Sam Lay Blues Band (sometimes called The Sam Lay Blues Revival) in Chicago, Illinois. Our lead singer, Lucille Span, was the widow of famous Blues piano player Otis Span. Sam played in the original Paul Butterflied Blues Band and backed Bob Dylan when he went electric at Newport. Sam also played on Dylan’s Highway 61 album. (Sam Lay is the greatest Blues shuffle drummer of all time.) We opened for the Muddy Waters Band, for the Johnny Winter Band with Rick Derringer, and for Sha Na Na. After playing with Sam I did a stint with Johnny Little John and then formed a band called Cash Money. We tried to make it in Canada but had to leave the country in a hurry, then ended up in California which was a disaster and I returned to Detroit. The last band I was in before following the call to ministry was called Sky Dive. This is a basic sketch, leaving out all stories. Jesus Christ saved me in the end of 1974 and called me into Christian ministry. I have never quit playing the Blues. Now after many years, I hope to finish my own blues recording.

Bluesman

Friday, September 26, 2008

Top Ten Ways Of Knowing You've Joined The wrong Church

1 comment:

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