Giving and Receiving Criticism in Light of the Cross

Some notes below from Alfred Poirier’s excellent article “The Cross and Criticism,” first published in The Journal of Biblical Counseling (Spring 1999).
Definition:

I’m using criticism in a broad sense as referring to any judgment made about you by another, which declares that you fall short of a particular standard.
The standard may be God’s or man’s.
The judgment may be true or false.
It may be given gently with a view to correction, or harshly and in a condemnatory fashion.
It may be given by a friend or by an enemy.
But whatever the case, it is a judgment or criticism about you, that you have fallen short of a standard.

Key Point:

A believer is one who identifies with all that God affirms and condemns in Christ’s crucifixion.

In other words, in Christ’s cross I agree with God’s judgment of me; and in Christ’s I agree with God’s justification of me. Both have a radical impact on how we take and give criticism.
Application:

1. Critique yourself.
2. Ask the Lord to give you a desire to be wise instead of a fool.
3. Focus on your crucifixion with Christ.
4. Learn to speak nourishing words to others.

How to give criticism in a godly way:

• I see my brother/sister as one for whom Christ died (1 Cor. 8:11; Heb. 13:1)
• I come as an equal, who also is a sinner (Rom. 3:9, 23).
• I prepare my heart lest I speak out of wrong motives (Prov. 16:2; 15:28; 16:23).
• I examine my own life and confess my sin first (Matt. 7:3-5).
• I am always patient, in it for the long haul (Eph. 4:2; 1 Cor. 13:4).
• My goal is not to condemn by debating points, but to build up through constructive criticism (Eph. 4:29).
• I correct and rebuke my brother gently, in the hope that God will grant him the grace of repentance even as I myself repent only through His grace (2 Tim. 2:24-25).  

Justin Taylor

When Is an Issue Important Enough to Correct Someone?

In the appendix to Sam Crabtree’s Practicing Affirmation he reproduces a helpful grid:

(Beevers’ Grid copyright 1986 by Ernest Beevers. Used by permission.)
Crabtree explains (pp. 161-162) how this can be used to help determine when to correct someone and when to let it go.

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The vertical axis indicates the importance of the issue being considered. The bottom reflects issues of low importance such as trying to resolve whether President George Washington ever wore socks that didn’t match. It is an issue of virtually no consequence. Moving up the axis, toward the top we reach issues that are important, issues that have life-and-death significance, perhaps for a great many people. Between the top and the bottom is an array of issues and their relative importance or unimportance. The horizontal axis indicates my certainty that I am right. Toward the left are issues about which I don’t have the foggiest clue (what is the name of the dog owned by the bit player in that 1938 movie that no one saw?). Toward the right are issues about which I am sure that I’m sure before God, the angels, and all the witnesses that could be summoned that I am right. Most people find that there are surprisingly few of these issues.
Any issue of controversy can be plotted on this matrix.
The lower-left quadrant contains issues that meet two simultaneous criteria: (1) they are of low importance, and (2) I do not know much about them. For example: how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Who knows? And who cares? Here’s the point: it wouldn’t be worth consuming relational energy to argue about this issue or to correct someone else’s viewpoint.
The upper-left quadrant contains issues that meet two simultaneous criteria: (1) they are of high importance, but (2) I still don’t know with certainty what the truth is. For example: When is Jesus returning? That is of crucial and everlasting importance to every person who lives or ever has lived! And yet I don’t know when he’s coming back. One of the things about which I’m certain is that I am not certain about exactly when he’s returning. The point is: arguing about it or correcting others is not worth the relational energy it would consume.
The lower-right quadrant contains issues about which (1) I’m certain I’m right, but (2) they are of low importance. For example: how many knots are in the log I am now looking at? I know the answer, but why make an issue of it?
And now we arrive at the main observation to be derived from Beever’s Grid. The upper-right quadrant simultaneously contains the issues (1) that are important, and (2) for which there is virtually no possibility that I will be shown to be mistaken.
And here’s the point: reserve your conflict, your arguments, and your persistent corrections to that quadrant.
Here’s its corollary: keep that region small. The fruitfulness of correction tends to come from a smaller region than we assume. We default to making that region larger than is fruitful. We wear people out by putting more issues in the upper-right quadrant than belong there.
Justin Taylor

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The Respectable Sin of Judgmentalism

Jerry Bridges, from his book Respectable Sins:

The sin of judgmentalism is one of the most subtle of our “respectable” sins because it is often practiced under the guise of being zealous for what is right. It’s obvious that within our conservative evangelical circles there are myriads of opinions on everything from theology to conduct to lifestyle and politics. Not only are there multiple opinions but we usually assume our opinion is correct. That’s where our trouble with judgmentalism begins. We equate our opinions with truth. (p. 141)

Bridges gives three examples of his own judgmentalism in the past—on what Christians wear to church, what music is sung in church, and Christians drinking alcohol.
Andy Naselli has provided a very helpful summary of this chapter with numerous quotes.
Justin Taylor

John MacArthur Rebukes Joel Osteen

I have said far less than this and have been criticized for saying it. Listen to this and wake up

To Prosperity Preachers: Save People from Suicide by John Piper

This is the second post in a series of twelve. The content comes from “Twelve Appeals to Prosperity Preachers” found in the new edition of Let the Nations Be Glad.
The apostle Paul warned against the desire to be rich. And by implication, he warned against preachers who stir up the desire to be rich instead of helping people get rid of it. He warned, “Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs” (1 Timothy 6:9-10).
These are very serious words, but they don’t seem to find an echo in the preaching of the prosperity gospel. It is not wrong for the poor to want measures of prosperity so that they have what they need and can be generous and can devote time and energy to Christ-exalting tasks other than scraping to get by. It is not wrong to seek Christ for help in this quest. He cares about our needs (Matthew 6:33).
But we all—poor and rich—are constantly in danger of setting our affections (1 John 2:15-16) and our hope (1 Timothy 6:17) on riches rather than Christ. This “desire to be rich” is so strong and so suicidal that Paul uses the strongest language to warn us. My appeal is that prosperity preachers would do the same.
Desiring God