My Dad was a great man, I really miss him on this Father's Day

                                                                 James Corbett Freer

How a Father Shapes the Church-Going Habits of His Children (for the rest of their life!)

In the June 2003 issue of Touchstone, Robbie Low examines a 1994 study in Switzerland about the connection between the churchgoing habits of parents, in particular fathers, and the effect on children once they are grown and out of the house. He explains:

In short, if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful his wife’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). If a father goes but irregularly to church, regardless of his wife’s devotion, between a half and two-thirds of their offspring will find themselves coming to church regularly or occasionally.
A non-practicing mother with a regular father will see a minimum of two-thirds of her children ending up at church. In contrast, a non-practicing father with a regular mother will see two-thirds of his children never darken the church door. If his wife is similarly negligent that figure rises to 80 percent!
The results are shocking, but they should not be surprising. They are about as politically incorrect as it is possible to be; but they simply confirm what psychologists, criminologists, educationalists, and traditional Christians know. You cannot buck the biology of the created order. Father’s influence, from the determination of a child’s sex by the implantation of his seed to the funerary rites surrounding his passing, is out of all proportion to his allotted, and severely diminished role, in Western liberal society.
A mother’s role will always remain primary in terms of intimacy, care, and nurture. (The toughest man may well sport a tattoo dedicated to the love of his mother, without the slightest embarrassment or sentimentality). No father can replace that relationship. But it is equally true that when a child begins to move into that period of differentiation from home and engagement with the world “out there,” he (and she) looks increasingly to the father for his role model. Where the father is indifferent, inadequate, or just plain absent, that task of differentiation and engagement is much harder. When children see that church is a “women and children” thing, they will respond accordingly—by not going to church, or going much less.
Curiously, both adult women as well as men will conclude subconsciously that Dad’s absence indicates that going to church is not really a “grown-up” activity. In terms of commitment, a mother’s role may be to encourage and confirm, but it is not primary to her adult offspring’s decision. Mothers’ choices have dramatically less effect upon children than their fathers’, and without him she has little effect on the primary lifestyle choices her offspring make in their religious observances.
Her major influence is not on regular attendance at all but on keeping her irregular children from lapsing altogether. This is, needless to say, a vital work, but even then, without the input of the father (regular or irregular), the proportion of regulars to lapsed goes from 60/40 to 40/60.

Read the whole essay here.
[HT: Gene Veith via Justin Taylor]

Jessica Turns 19

Taken in the green room

Merry Christmas

A very Merry Christmas to all. My family attended a Christmas Eve Candle Light service last night, then we came home and ate too much food and opened presents, watched a movie, stayed up late talking. Most everyone is still sleeping. Its been awhile since the whole family has slept in this house. You realize that its not very big when people are sleeping everywhere. Once everyone gets up we will have a wonderful breakfast. The roads look dicey, we are having a lot of rain in Detroit, hopefully things will clear up latter so we can go see Sherlock Holmes. May God bless everyone and may you know the Savior Jesus Christ and the hope and joy he brings.
The Bluesman

How to Respond to Family Feuds

CCEF has posted on their website an edited version of Tim Lane’s booklet, Family Feuds: How to Respond.
Here’s a summary:

Christmas is coming and that means family get-togethers. But these celebrations are not always a picture postcard of family bliss. For some, these gatherings are dreaded and avoided when possible. Why is that? Why is it so hard to get along with the people you grew up with? Is there any hope that old, hurtful patterns can be changed? In this booklet, Tim Lane writes about these challenges and how through your relationship with Christ you can learn how to love your family and reach out to them in concrete and practical ways.

You can read the whole thing here.
Lane begins by rehearsing a number of truths:

1. Every family is flawed
2. Flawed families need God’s grace
3. Your family of origin does not determine your identity
4. God’s call to love includes your family
5. Changed by the cross of Christ

He then gives some practical strategies for change:

1. Respond with grace to your family
2. Take responsibility for your sins, not your family’s
3. Become an instrument of grace
4. Make wise choices for your children
5. Persevere in love

My Four Children Thanksgiving 2009

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. My entire family gathers at my mom's house and have a wonderful day of food, ping-pong, laughs, and the Lions losing a football game.Its also a time to get an updated picture of my children. From left to right is Jeremy, Jason, Jeffrey and Jessica, from oldest to the youngest.

Visit Freer Texas for The Freer Rattlesnake Roundup

Regardless your take, the place to be if you want to tribute the Texas rattlesnake is in Freer, Texas, where the rattlesnakes outpopulate the people that live there.

Get ready to head down to the Freer Cactus Corral for the biggest snake Party in Texas featuring concerts with nationally known country western and Tejano artists. It's going to be fun for the whole family including a carnival, parade, arts/crafts exhibit and show, stage shows, a dare devil snake show, fried rattlesnake meat, talent contest & much more.

Freer is at the intersection of U.S. Highway 59 and State highways 16, 44, and 339, twenty-four miles northwest of San Diego and twenty-three miles northwest of Benavides in northwestern Duval County. It is the second largest town in the county.

It's 'way out' in the middle of nowhere, say locals, but well worth a visit, especially during the Rattlesnake Roundup.

Today is my 59th Birthday

A picture from today's birthday celebration. My oldest son Jeremy is on the left, my daughter Jessica and my youngest son Jeffrey on the right. We had a lot of fun today and ate some great food.

Open House

Saturday was a busy day, we had my daughter Jessica's Graduation open house at my sister Sally's house, in South Lyon. After a night of monster rain we had a beautiful muggy day with plenty of sunshine and a nice breeze.That's my mom who just turned 85, then Jessica and on the right is my sister Sally.

The Best Fears of Our Lives

Russell D. Moore on the Good Father’s Quiet Desperation

Somebody please help me. I’m really, really depressed, and I don’t know what to do. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know I was depressed until a new study came out, and I’m at high, high risk. An article by Vanderbilt and Florida State sociology professors, based on data from the National Survey of Families and Households, has concluded that parents are more susceptible to depression than non-parents.

According to the Sacramento Bee’s report, “Parents experience significantly higher levels of depression than grown-ups who don’t have children.”

I still thought I was okay, since I’m a reasonably happy man. That is, until I saw the definition of the problem. According to the Bee: “The researchers suggest that worry is a lifelong cost of having children.” And don’t think it gets better when they leave the house: “Parents of grown children (whether they live at home or have moved out) and parents without custody of minor children exhibit more signs of depression than other parents.”

To read the rest go Here

Jessica Graduates!

This is my lovely daughter Jessica after her graduation ceremony, showing off her diploma that makes it official. Jessica is the baby of the family she has three older brothers, and is still thinking about what she wants to do in the future.

Nothin Better!

I'm on my way to my mom's house for our annual Christmas dinner. My sister's and my brother will be there and other family members. There is no way to describe how good the food is, my mom is an outstanding cook. My mom is right in the middle of the picture, 84 years old and going strong.

Hey Dude Pass The Turkey

In a galaxy far far away.......

Happy Thanksgiving

I just got back from my moms house where my entire family gathered for thanksgiving. Wow what a great meal! This is a picture of my children. From left to right is Jeffery, Jason, Jessica and Jeremy.I do love my kids. We celebrated Jeffery's 22nd birthday, Jason is 28 Jessica is 17 a senior in high school and Jeremy is 32.