Thursday, December 8, 2011

Late Night Jokes - Leno, Conan and Ferguson

From Jay Leno

  • Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich sentenced to 14 years in prison. This is the most disgraceful thing to happen to an Illinois governor since their last governor.
  • According to reports, one of Moammar Gadhafi’s sons had an elaborate plan to sneak into Mexico. Authorities broke up the plan before it took place. Believe me, if there's one thing Mexico will not stand for, it’s people sneaking over their border.
From Craig Ferguson

  • The former governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich got 14 years in prison. He will probably get time off for good hair.
  • To give you an idea how long that is, take Kim Kardashian's marriage and add 14 years.
  • He was convicted of trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. If he had waited a few years, he could probably sell it back to Barack Obama.
  • Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight yesterday. The good news is, it freed up three seats for standby passengers.
From Conan

  • There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?
  • Someone hacked into Facebook and leaked Mark Zuckerberg's private photos. When Zuckerberg realized someone had showed a blatant disregard for his privacy, he hired them.
  • India has suspended its plans to let a Wal-Mart open in its country. The prime minister's exact words were “India will make your crappy clothes, but we won't buy them.”

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