10. I’ll be home for Ramadan (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Winter Solstice).
9. We three politically oppressive patriarchs.
8. I’m dreaming of a racially diverse Christmas.
7. I saw mommy suing Santa Claus for harassment.
6. Rockin’ around the recycled, flame-retardant artificial Christmas tree.
5. All I want for Christmas is a dental plan.
4. Chestnuts roasting on an environmentally-friendly fuel source.
3. Rudolph the endangered and exploited specie.
2. We wish you a non-sectarian holiday.
1. Frosty the snowperson.